I felt like a sardine. Say it twice and it means two different things!

Wednesday, February 10

So I’m still thinking about my trip back from Alabama.  Air travel is just not what it used to be.  It seems you can’t go anywhere in the United States without connecting through another city.  And it seems like everyone else wants to go where you’re going.

Flights are overbooked, waiting rooms are crowded, every seat on the plane is filled, and those airplane seats are way smaller and closer together than they used to be.

I felt like a sardine.

We are now going to take a trip on the free-association roller coaster.  As soon as I said to myself, “I felt like a sardine,” I felt like a sardine.  As in, I now wanted to eat a sardine. 

My mind works in strange ways.

Sardines are interesting creatures.  They swim in vast schools.  They are members of the herring family.  They are also known as Pilchards.  But when you say, “I feel like a Pilchard,” in a crowded plane, people just look at you funny.

You get loads of vitamins and minerals from sardines.  150% of the RDA for vitamin B-12 alone!  They are full of omega-3 fatty acids that are thought to reduce the likelihood of developing Alzheimer's disease.

And they taste good.  So I felt like a sardine.

Now I’ve harped on and on about how Lansdale Borough no longer has a supermarket within its borders.  So today’s quest:  Can you find a can of sardines in the borough?

I thought this was going to be hard.  Kind of like a Mutual of Omaha animal special:  Hunting the Elusive Lansdale Sardine.

It turned out to be surprisingly easy.

First stop.  The Walgreens on West Main Street.  They have two rather robust aisles of grocery products.  Would they have sardines?

Yes they did.  Three lonely looking cans of sardines.  That had traveled here all the way from Canada (As a side note, the United States no longer cans sardines – once a large industry.  All of our sardines are now imported).

They looked a bit old and dusty.  I wondered if they were still good.  Well, the can did say EXP: 2020.  So either these sardines will last a long, long time, or they are expected to have perfect vision.

As I took the can off the shelf, I imagined red lights flashing and klaxon horns going off in some deep bunker at Walgreens headquarters.  ATTENTION!  ATTENTION! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!  A CAN OF SARDINES HAS BEEN PURCHASED AT THE LANSDALE STORE.  MOVE THE TINNED FISH INVENTORY INDICATOR TO DEF-CON 4! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!

Because I imagine Walgreens doesn’t sell a lot of sardines.

I even joked with the nice young lady at the checkout, asking her if she had ever rung up a can of sardines before.  She didn’t think so, but let me know that she liked sardines.  Especially the ones in mustard sauce.  She nicely asked how I planned on eating my sardines.  I said I would have them on toast.  She seemed surprised that anyone would eat sardines on toast, but said she would try it.  I'm not sure I want to know how she prepares her sardines.

Lansdale Shopping Score:  1

It’s now lunchtime, and I have too many appointments to go to, so the sardines will not be eaten.  I need something quick.  And I want a bagel.

Because the entire state of Alabama is devoid of anything that even vaguely resembles a real bagel.

So it’s off to Bagelworks in the Lansdale Pavilion on South Broad Street.  Well, that looks strange.  The store looks dark.  And it has this sign on the door.

Dejected, I walk over to Subway across the parking lot for a less than satisfying 6 inch sub.  But anything would have been less than satisfying.  I wanted that bagel!

Lansdale Shopping Score:  2

As I exit the Subway, I eye the Dollar Tree store.  Could my hunt for the elusive Lansdale sardine take me here?

First off, I love the Dollar Tree.  It’s one of the last true dollar stores (Family Dollar and Dollar General both sell items that cost more than a dollar).  Everything is a dollar!  And they sell food.

Who knew that the Dollar Tree would be the mecca of canned items from the sea?  Tuna!  Salmon!  Mussels!  Mackerel (Mackerel?)!  Scallops!  Oysters! Kippers! Clams! Herring!

And, of course, sardines.

Sardines three different ways!

It turns out the Dollar Tree is the Baltimore National Aquarium of canned seafood.

So I select a can of sardines.  In mustard sauce, in honor of the Walgreens lady.  That have come to us all the way from Poland.  For a buck.   25% less expensive than at Walgreens.

The lady at the Dollar Tree checkout was just as nice as the Walgreens lady.  And let me know that sardines are a big seller at this store. 

Who’d a thunk it?

Lansdale Shopping Score:  3

My takeaway today – Lansdale has more than you think.  If you go looking for it. 

We’re a lot like a tin of sardines:  there’s a lot of stuff and things to do in a small place.

So, today’s score:

THREE opportunities to shop/eat in Lansdale met.

Let’s see what today brings!